I like turtles.

Florida. One mess of a state, isn’t it? Florida is a state that practices “abstinence only” sex education in their schools. That’s why I wasn’t surprised when I read about the group of teenagers who believed that drinking Mt. Dew and even BLEACH would help them prevent pregnancy and STD’s such as H.I.V.

No, actually drinking bleach will make sure whatever comes out your other end is crisp, white, and April fresh.

I don’t want to tell anyone how to run a state, and maybe I’m old fashioned, but if they want to make sure their kids aren’t having sex at a young age, couldn’t they just do what I did? If you’re a teenage boy, the mullet is a fool-proof form of birth control. It worked for me at least.

And I’ve got to think that if Florida wanted to keep their teenage girls virginal, an acid wash jeans come back could be the trick.

Other items I used to prevent myself from having sex:

My 1975 Dodge Dart

Denim jacket and shorts ensemble

Zoobaz

Waterbed

Sega gaming console

“Skid Row” poster

We should help Floridians by donating all of the crap that used to not get us laid. We’ll all be able to sleep easier knowing less Florida teenagers are doing shots of Clorox.

Today’s the last day of voting in the latest round of Rochester Insider’s Rochester Radio Madness. Looking for your votes. Get in before 7:00 tonight!

Big thanks to California Rollin’ at the ferry terminal. A bunch of us went out for a MASSIVE sushi feast last night. We particularly enjoyed their “Wasabi Bombers”. I was so intrigued by what made them so wicked, I had to get behind the bar to learn more.

If you’re a fan of the band Boys Like Girls, listen to me tomorrow after American Top 40 ends at noon. I’ll have FREE tickets for you to win for their show at Alfred State. Also, next week, tickets for Panic at the Disco. Hardcore fans will notice they have dropped the “!” from their name. Perhaps in the future they’ll consider new punctuation. Panic? At the Disco would be more fun to say. Anyways, like I said, if you want FREE Panic (?) tickets, listen to PXY every afternoon.

Remember the Muppet Show? Click this for a video of HIGH-larious outtakes!

I heard Amanda mention this morning that she hates that she likes the new Britney Spears song “Break the Ice”. I’m here to tell you that it is perfectly NORMAL to like that song. I wouldn’t even classify it as a “guilty pleasure”. Why? Because IT’S GOOD! Want to know something else? Her whole “Blackout” album is good. I’ll even go as far as saying it’s her best album ever.

98 PXY was the first Top 40 station in America to play Britney Spears “Baby One More Time” way back before she became what she is today. I really believe a “comeback” is going to happen. She’s got more structure in her life, her father is cleaning up her image, she got positive reviews for her TV appearance last week, and, like I said, her album is really good. I hope she pulls it off. I remember thinking once that she could be the second coming of Madonna.

I talked about it yesterday on the air…Is it me, or does the line in Rihanna’s new song sound like she’s singing, “You’re so ugly when you crap…” Uh, Rihanna? I don’t think anyone can really look attractive when they’re doing that.

Only a couple of days left in this round of Insiders Radio Madness…I’m battling with my buddy Tariq at DKX. He’s got to GO DOWN. Spezzano and Sandy are neck and neck with our brother Mayor, and Megan needs your votes to take down Wease. Give us some love now at Rochester Insider.

It’s Thursday, and I’m going through “Lost” withdrawal. If you watch the show, check out what I think is the best theory yet! If you don’t watch the show, don’t bother. Its a little complex at this point and reading that may cause a nosebleed.

Give me a shout today! Looking forward to hearing from you, and thanks for listening to 98 PXY!

Listen. This is the most important link you will click all day.

Don’t you love April Fools? Now you know how poor Kasper feels. Yesterday, I replaced everything from the first half hour of his show with the Rick Astley 80’s SMASH “Never Gonna Give You Up”. He had NO IDEA what was happening. Everything he tried to do backfired and all he could do was play the song again.

If you’ve never done it, go ahead, Rickroll someone today. You’ll smile afterwards!

It’s baby making time! Sandy has us on a “baby sex” schedule. We REALLY want to get preggers before we have to try and explain to our 3 year old what happened last week. Here’s the “Danger Dillemma” today: Our daughter has a 6th sense whenever we try and to the hibbity-dibbity. If we close the door, she opens it. If we hide, she finds us. She’s like a dope sniffing dog in Kasper’s apartment! The last thing I want to do is scar her for life. I’m sure some of you walked in on your parents as a kid. Didn’t sit to well with you, did it? When and how do we make this work? Sandy’s asleep by 10:00 to get up for the next morning’s show. And Leah usually doesn’t hit a wall until around 10:30. I mean, it’s not like I’m asking for a lot of time here…30 seconds is all I need! Do I need to start leaving a plastic cup in the morning???

On a completely different note, I know some of you have had some issues with your Club PXY account. Hang in there. We’re working out all of the bugs with the conversion to the NEW 98pxy.com. Kinda cool that we’re FINALLY streaming though, right?

Oh, and never feel like you can’t leave a comment for me here. I’ll always do my best to check back and get a response it. If you’ve read my myspace blog you know I love to read and respond to comments, so don’t be shy! I only have a few minutes a day on the air to talk to you, so this blog can serve as another way for us to communicate.

As always, thanks for listening to 98 PXY!