I’ll never be able to un-see this.

U.S. Gymnast Shawn Johnson really likes her Ortega Tacos.  So much so that…Well, just watch.

Apparently the ad guru’s at Ortega don’t have a lot of common sense.

After much consideration, I have decided that THIS is the look I’ll be sporting tonight for Fashion Friday at Tribecca…

Cock-a-doodle-DOUCHE!!!!

See you tonight.

Because mine was a little ridiculous…

A few weeks ago, I informed you of my addiction to “Zours”, a candy that we have CASES of here at the station (for sampling purposes, obviously).

Many of you expressed concern.   Some of you tried an intervention, warning me that “The Z” was simply a gateway candy.  Today, you’re popping Zours, tomorrow you’ve got a full blown “Fun Dip” addiction.

I just thought  I would share my progress with you today…

Umm, yeah.  I’m a full blown addict.  I need help.

I’ve decided that after close to 20 years working in radio, it’s time for a new challenge.

I’ve accepted the position of 4th Jonas Brother.

I will be their “hype” man similar to Flava Flav from the 80’s rap group Public Enemy.

I know this will shock many of you, but I appreciate your understanding.  I am following a dream, and no one can stop me.

See you on the road.  I’m stepping into the lava!

After perusing through yesterday’s comments, and seeing the willingness to post random facts about Mr. T., I thought it would be fun to do a list in today’s comments.

Topic:  Things You’ll Never Hear

I’ll start.

“Hey man, after the game, maybe we can head over to Movies 10 for the midnight showing of Sex in the City.”

Go.

Just another video of a pelican eating a pigeon.  That’s all.

It’s hard enough making it through a Monday. It really is.  And then one of your classmates from high school has to go ahead and do this to you:

Yep. That’s me. 10th grade.

Where do I start?

Fantasy football! I can’t wait! Fantastic. I eat it. I sleep it. I love it.

You know, what’s crazy is that I’ll only spend about 20-30 hours a week on my fantasy league team. Wait until I’m doing it full-time. I’d like to hear people then. I bet people won’t be yelling “Nice Life!” or “You’re a douche bag.” You know what I’d say to them? Scoreboard.

Word around the NFL horn is that I am in the running to replace Dick Jauron when he is fired in Buffalo. That’s right. Take a look at me now, Mrs. “You Smell Like Failure.” You know what, you do! Pretty soon I’ll be smelling like something else. Winner! You see all that Officially Licensed NFL merchandise? I’ll have a whole closet full. And the closet will be on my yacht. Booyah!

See, the difference between me and the average fantasy league coach is that those guys see Jeremy Shockey going into a bye week and worry that their only tight end is not playing. Not me. I stayed in this weekend, got myself a meatball sub and went to work, and you know what I came up with? Robert Royal, baby! Read that again. Robert Royal. Not impressed are we? So you’ve heard of Robert Royal, eh? Did you call him at home? Well, I did. I asked him how he felt. How things were going at home. What his favorite food was, everything. Let me tell you, he sounded pretty angry and threatened to kick my ass. Some people would be scared of that. But you know what, I didn’t see fear…I saw fire! Robert’s ready for Sunday and so am I.

Make fun of me all you want, jerks. You’ll be doing it from 2nd place.