Maybe you’ve heard me talk about my Blackberry on the air before. I love my phone. I have everything on it. I don’t go as far as calling it my “Crackberry” because I can unplug every night when I get home and on the weekends with no issues.

One are of concern is when I come into work everyday. I have a habit of checking my Blackberry for new e-mails as I walk down the steps from the parking garage.

My heads down, and I may walk a bit slower as to not fall down a flight of stairs. Well, today I became “that guy”. I never realized that my e-mail checking habit can potentially slow down members of our society from starting their miserable day.

I got to the bottom of the stairs today and the guy behind me rushes by me and threw an obscenity under his breath my way.

Wha, what? Really? I slowed you down to the point where you have to voice your displeasure with me under your breath? Oh, and this guy had a greezy pony tail. Like I need this? Like I need a verbal lashing from Steven Seagal over here?

This is Tila Tequila…

She is, IMHO, a 4 ft. tall, Gremlin-faced hooker.  If you’re a fan of hers, we can’t be friends.  Sorry.  I have to draw the line somewhere.

Let’s analyze how she got popular, shall we?  Tila had A LOT of friends on Myspace back in, say 2005.  Not really “friends” though, just people she would request and accept all day long.  Not the kind of people she would be able to sit back and reminisce about the good times they’ve had.

And that’s it.  That’s her redeeming quality.  Virtual popularity.  Have you heard her music? It’s like listening to cats being boiled.  Not that I know, or even can imagine what that sounds like, but you get the idea…

So having all these “friends” got Tila noticed.  Virtual popularity has given this no talent trollup recognition to the point where she’s on MTV every 5 minutes.   I mean it.  Every. 5.  Minutes.

And every time her show,”A Shot at Love” is on, I can’t help but read it as, “Asshat Love”.  Because that’s what my brain tells me she is…an asshat.

All that being said, I’d hit it.

With a garbage truck.

For wanting us to spend our hard earned on the EXACT SAME gags you pulled in your Austin Powers franchise.  Don’t believe me?  Watch this:

Hate By Numbers: Mike Myer’s Love Guru Edition on FunnyOrDie.com

What is Bunco, you ask?  According to wikipedia:

Bunco (also Bunko and Bonko) is a parlour game played in teams with three dice. A winning throw in Bunco is to throw three of a kind of a specified number.

In recent years, the game has seen a resurgence in popularity in America, particularly among suburban women. As it is played today, Bunco is a social dice game involving 100% luck and no skill (there are no decisions to be made), scoring and a simple set of rules. Women who are part of a Bunco club take turns as the Bunco hostess, providing snacks, refreshments and the tables to set up the games.

See also:  The reason I’m not going to be at East End Fest tonight.  Sandy sprung a last minute Bunco date with the other women of Wisteria Lane.  Upon hearing this news, my teeth and fist clenched much like Seinfeld in the presence of Newman.  “Bunco.”

Have fun enjoying some beverages on the first real night of summer.  Really, tear it up.  I’ll be fine.

BTW, if there is a silver lining, and I’m really NOT complaining, Daddy gets to spend time with Leah which I never get to do as much as I’d like.

Hopefully, she’ll suggest a delicious meal out to either Red Lobster or The O.G.  Either way, Bunco=fail, My night=win!

My guess is you can’t Plinko worth a damn either…