I got a well deserved beating this morning on Spezzano and Sandy.

Here’s the timeline, and why this was not a good Mother’s Day for your boy…

Midnight Sunday morning-Sandy drives us home from Carson’s wedding (congrats, guys!) after I apparently had one too many

12:30 am-We do our best as a couple to get Sandy into labor.  You know what it is…

6:30 am-I wake up with a screeching headache.  Proceed to down 2 ibuprofen tablets.  This would prove to be my undoing.

7:15 am-I leave to pick up my daughter and niece at Sandy’s sister’s house.  I then pull over to hurl in the Olympia restaurant parking lot.

7:30 am-I have the girls in tow.  Still with a headache that would kill an African Elephant.

7:40 am-Lie down.  Sandy is not happy.  No breakfast in bed.

8:40 am-The girls are demanding cereal we don’t have in stock and Sandy is craving crepes.  We need heavy cream.  I’m off to Wegman’s.

9:05 am-I have cereal heavy cream and a need to puke again.  I do so just as I pull into our neighborhood.

9:06 am-Sandy, disgusted with her choice in a husband sends me to bed to sleep it off.

Now, I did surprise her with flowers on Friday night.  I got her a nice card as well.  Additionally, I presented my mother-in-law with a thoughtful card, and did make Sandy her crepes later in the afternoon.  So, all in all, i think I rebounded pretty strong after a shaky start to Mother’s Day.  That being said, I won’t be asking for any “special treatment” this Father’s Day.  I know what’s good for me!

I have an addictive personality.  If I get my hands on something good, I can’t tear myself away from it.  Well, this weekend, Sandy busted in on my new love affair.  My Blackberry.

We were out to dinner, and I couldn’t stop updating my Facebook and Twitter.  Really, I might need therapy.  But, here’s the thing. I don’t think I’m in the wrong here.  It’s 2009.  EVERYONE is addicted to their wireless device, right?

She even called me “douchey” for checking the e-mail that told me Paul Harvey died.  Douchey?
Uh, no sweetheart.  Douchey would be the guy still wearing his Bluetooth at the dinner table.  Douchey would be the guy who SLEEPS with his Blackberry.  I am neither.  Next case.

But, c’mon.  Really?  Tell me there’s nothing wrong with me looking at my Blackberry when that little light flashes red.  It’s like a beacon of entertainment!

The spending freeze in our house has been well documented to this point.  Sandy has put a freeze on our spending and I have eliminated some extra things I have spent money on in the past.

But, I have to tell you.  I’m stressed out of my mind.

I don’t know when/how to spend money anymore.  Not with out her prior approval anyways.  Do you know how good it felt to eat at The Marketplace Mall Food Court and  buy a video game for myself on Friday?  Sadly, there are more important things that need our financial attention right now.  These are the items that have me stressed going into the holiday where we are supposed to give thanks.

• Sandy needs a car.  This is the big one.  She knows how much she wants to spend, but can’t decide on what to get for the money.  It is my hope, and I stress hope, that once she’s purchased her car and is happy with it, we can relax our spending freeze to some degree.
• Our treadmill is busted.  It needs a part that runs over a hundy.  I use that treadmill.   A lot.  I feel awful when I can’t run.  I haven’t been able to run at home.  Hence, I am generally miserable.
• Our surround sound receiver in our family room is short one channel. This is not a huge necessity, but it’s driving me crazy.  It sounds awful.  And, everyone will be over on Thursday hearing how awful it sounds.  I’m not happy about this.
• My buddies have asked me to go to the Bills game on Sunday.  I’m actually scared to ask Sandy if I can go, because I may have to take out a loan to buy a beer at The Ralph.
• Sandy’s cousin is coming to NYC from Europe next month.  She should go, but doesn’t want to spend the money to travel.  I think that’s crazy.  I would spend money to travel to see my favorite band, but she won’t spend money to visit a blood relative?

Oh, and I’m cooking the feast on Thursday.  Turkey, corn bread stuffing, cranberries, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, homemade gravy, and don’t forget the lasagna.  Anyone have a sedative?

• I give you women a ton of credit.  We wore heels Saturday for 98 PXY’s “Walk a Mile In Her Shoes.”  I don’t know how/why you would put yourself through that kind of torture.  By all means, don’t EVER feel like you need to wear heels to impress me.  I’ve got blisters within my blisters and my calves feel like they were assaulted with a 2×4.  Check the video on Sandy’s blog here.

• Props to a major fast food chain which will remain nameless.  We went to a location on West Ridge Road because Leah wanted a toy with her lunch.  WOW!  I didn’t know if I should eat lunch or pull up a chair and work on my Apple laptop.  They have transformed this restaurant into, what felt like, a Starbucks.

• Sandy is cheap.  I have accepted this.  Maybe you heard about this on the show this morning.  We went to a pumpkin patch so our daughter could make a memory.  Only thing is when it came time to pay for that memory, Sandy squashed it.  I don’t know, maybe I’m an idiot, but I’ll PAY for an experience.  In this case the experience of picking out the perfect Halloween pumpkin.  I don’t think you get the same kind of memory picking out a pumpkin at say…Aldi.  Again, maybe it’s me.

• It’s official.  I hate mowing our lawn.  I used to say I would never get a riding mower.  Well, after spending over 4 hours working on it on Saturday, I’m shifting.  I mean, really?  4 hours of my weekend MOWING?

• Sandy and I got to go out to dinner by ourselves Saturday night.  The only reason we got to go out for dinner was because Sandy had a gift certificate (see point 3).  The median age of the place we went to had to be around 83.  Wow, were we out of place.  Nothing but old, rich people talking about how much money they made in the past, and what they used to pay for a housekeeper.  The best part of the night was the waiter chasing after us as we walked out because I forgot to sign the bill.  My bad.

• The Chicago Bears have the ability to completely ruin my day.

• My Fantasy Football team has the ability to ease some of the pain.  That, and beer.

I, like many Americans, watched the Vice Presidential debate last night.  Joe Biden performed better than I expected, but I found it hard to focus in on the answers both candidates were giving out due to the weird vibes Sarah Palin kept sending me.

She had to have winked at me at least a half dozen times.  She knows I am happily married, right?  It was a little uncomfortable watching her flirt with me while my wife was in the same room!