This is Tila Tequila…

She is, IMHO, a 4 ft. tall, Gremlin-faced hooker.  If you’re a fan of hers, we can’t be friends.  Sorry.  I have to draw the line somewhere.

Let’s analyze how she got popular, shall we?  Tila had A LOT of friends on Myspace back in, say 2005.  Not really “friends” though, just people she would request and accept all day long.  Not the kind of people she would be able to sit back and reminisce about the good times they’ve had.

And that’s it.  That’s her redeeming quality.  Virtual popularity.  Have you heard her music? It’s like listening to cats being boiled.  Not that I know, or even can imagine what that sounds like, but you get the idea…

So having all these “friends” got Tila noticed.  Virtual popularity has given this no talent trollup recognition to the point where she’s on MTV every 5 minutes.   I mean it.  Every. 5.  Minutes.

And every time her show,”A Shot at Love” is on, I can’t help but read it as, “Asshat Love”.  Because that’s what my brain tells me she is…an asshat.

All that being said, I’d hit it.

With a garbage truck.

This is absolutely fascinating.

My guess is you can’t Plinko worth a damn either…

Sex ed teacher perhaps?

Ok, you’ll only really enjoy this if you have the maturity level of a 12 year old.

Like me.

Have you met Spezzano and Sandy?

Today, they are my 97% enemy, 3% wife.

In case you weren’t aware I’m a HUGE fan of LOST. Last night was the two hour season finale. Last season’s finale was some of the best television I can ever remember watching, so I had high expectations for last night.

There was just one problem…I ran in Corporate Challenge last night at R.I.T. (27:59, thank you very much) so I didn’t get home until after 10:00, hence missing the first hour of the season finale.

No worries though, it’s 2008 and through the power of technology I will watch it on my schedule. The plan is to download the episode through my Xbox and enjoy some LOST goodness in Glorious High Definition and Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound. (I know, I’m a geek.)

So, as I’m getting ready for work this morning I’ve got S+S on like I always do, and what do I hear? SPOILERS!!! They start rattling off all of the stuff that went down on last nights episode. NOOOOO!!!!

I’ve never wanted to fire anybody, but this morning I wanted to fire all of them.

HOW FRIGGIN’ RUDE!!!!

If you saw it, by all means avoid me today. No more spoilers. I mean it. This is NOT a joke.